The Long and Winding Road

Did you know that song was The Beatles last #1 song in the U.S., and their real last single? Yep. I would love nothing more than for this 2010 journey to be my last trip to the Permanent Weight Loss Club, too.


Big SIGH. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . But, this whole process of figuring out what works for my body and what doesn't really does have me maneuvering down a twisty, winding path this time around. Getting motivated to get started was a very large part of this fat battle, but staying motivated when my body doesn't work the way I expect or want it to is a pretty big part too.

My two-a day workout plan has not quite worked out how I hoped it would. :-/ I really thought it was realistic, and that's why I committed myself to it and posted it for all to see. Now I see that some adjustments are needed, but I know it's not the end of the world. There was a time when I'd just feel so defeated at this point that I'd give up and go into hiding. THAT'S not going to happen this time.

I will confess that prior to starting this two-a-day plan (as seen on the right sidebar), I was NOT  working out every day or even 5 times a week. But, as I often say to myself when making my new goals:

"How hard could it be?" 

That attitude has pushed me out of my comfort zone many times with some pretty great results, but it wasn't to be this time. For two weeks I did meet my goal of 5 days a week, twice a day with time increasing incrementally. So, yay for that!

The other great thing was that I dropped some weight, about 4 pounds! So, I think this old girl's metabolism was forced to do more, and that's a very good thing. Another yay for that!

I'm also making an appointment with my doctor to discuss going off my blood pressure meds! Yes, that's right, my blood pressure over these last two weeks has dropped dramatically. This is really big and wonderful news! Have to see what he says, but I am very hopeful.

What I didn't count on, tho, with my two-a-day schedule was being totally exhausted. I was so wiped out. I couldn't decide if it was the heat or if I was pushing too hard or if maybe I wasn't eating enough, but I was not waking up in the morning refreshed...in fact, my mornings ended being a total waste because I just could not get moving. I didn't increase my calorie intake, so if my metabolism was indeed fired up, I may need to eat some of my exercise calories to make it through.

So anyway, I listened to my body and gave it what it was screaming for: REST. I took several days off, and now I'm feeling back to normal. I hopped back on the bike today and the 25 minute workout felt fabulous...all sweaty just like it should be! I'm still not sure how to adjust the two-a-day plan except to say that I may need to get some longer, more consistent workouts under my belt before I move to two-a-days. My 25 minute week just didn't happen. :(

So, for this week, I'm playing it by ear. Will attempt a couple of two-a-days and see how it goes and report back to you next week. Feel free to ask me about it if you don't see a post about it soon, ok? How's that for accountability?

I'm wondering, what happens to you when you set a goal and miss the mark? Is it easy for you to evaluate, adjust and move forward or do you get stuck, stall out or quit?

Cheryl

Bob and Weave

It's nearly the middle of July. How are your 2010 goals coming along? Are you checking things off the list? Making progress, taking steps forward? I hope so.

Just in case you've experienced some challenges like I have, this post is for you.

One of the greatest challenges I've had in the last 6 months has been learning how to stay focused on the goal and at the same time be flexible enough to adapt when its clear that this boat 'ain't gonna sail that way. Getting very fixed and even rigid in our belief about how it all is going to play out might very well be the quickest way to sink the ship.

I'm a pretty laid back person, its natural to take things as they come, and I find intrigue and adventure in the unexpected. When I worked in customer service several years back, I never knew what was on the other end of that incoming call...a happy customer, an extremely busy customer, a customer that's demanding or unreasonable...it was the funnest part of the job for me! So, you would think this whole flexibility thing would come naturally, too.

Negatory.

Somehow this year, this goal, seemed way too important for me to just 'que sera sera' my way through it. I felt I needed to really buckle down, make a plan, stick to it, and arrive. If it were only that simple. 

The thing is that I've seen this laid-backness of mine play to my benefit many many times, and I'm wondering if it could, if it would serve me well with my health goals also. You may not agree with me, but for me it seems the more rigid and inflexible I approach something, the better chance I'm going to get discouraged and just chuck the whole thing.

Enter the bob and weave. It's a basic and key defensive move in boxing that has some very interesting parallels for us. Take a look:




What I heard first was about head movement...so basic!! In boxing, you're trying to not get hit while delivering some swift hits of your own. If you stand still, guess what happens?  Moral? Don't get so locked into the route you're taking to get to your destination that you miss your big move. Get your head moving a little. Assess where you're at. Adjust.

We can be so set on taking the fastest route between here and there that we forget about that counter-punch or that right hook. And, before we know it, we're clinching, hanging on the ropes and going down for the count. We've forgotten about head movement.

The second thing is that in boxing, you expect to get hit. It's part of the game. When we expect something, we aren't surprised by it, we aren't discouraged by it, we know it's all a part winning. Moral? Don't let a little pop to your ego derail you from staying in the ring long enough to get the win. Keep moving, don't give up, switch it up, make it fun, don't be so hard on yourself. And, smile. :)

In other words, bob and weave. 

Sometimes your movement will be forward, sometimes backward. Even side to side. Move full speed ahead when the way is clear, but switch it up from time to time. Back off, change canoes, ask for help and learn from others.

Above all, don't be afraid to say "I've changed my mind." Who cares what others say, seriously. Pursue your goals relentlessly but know that how you get there is almost certain to change along the way.

I'm wondering....does this whole idea of bobbing and weaving make you feel kinda free? Or does it just feel to loosey goosey to you? Please leave a comment.

Movin' forward every which way,
Cheryl

Sum Sum Summertime Goals!

I think one of the most life-changing habits that I have worked on in 2010 has to do with goal setting . . . naming my goals, writing them down, and then purposely arranging my life so that I have the best possible chance at reaching them, of getting where I want to go.

Sounds so simple.

This morning I was reminded of this again when I stopped by Making Over Me, a blog written by my friend Holly. Holly is an amazing woman, full of positivity, ambition, and with a heart of gold; she's a hard-working, loving mom and wife, and an inspiration to boot! She and I worked together for a brief time in the 9-5 world, plus she was my realtor when I bought my condo, so I’m always eager to keep up with her and see what’s new in her world.

Holly talked last Friday about her summer goals, and what I loved about the post was the specificity of each goal and how she divided her goals up according to the many different hats she wears in a day. It made for a good read, so if you haven’t had the chance to stop over there, I highly recommend taking the time to read it all the way through.

Holly’s post reminded me, ahemmm, that I still hadn’t written down my own summertime goals…I had them in my head and was even thinking about how to incorporate them, but writing them down makes them even more clear in my head, and it creates some kind of shift in my mind that this isn’t just a dream or a wish or something inspiring to think about, it’s something to DO. Something I WANT to do.

So, CHECK, the summertime goals are now written down, thanks Holly. And, following the example that she and so many of you have set, I’m sharing them here…in the hopes that you’ll keep ME accountable and that YOU will find something of value to take with you.

In short, my summertime goal is getting this structure thing nailed down...to find a way of operating my days that fits my life, my personality, my dreams, me. Call it having a plan on how to reach goals if you will, because having goals clearly defined and written down isn't enough. We need a game plan, a way of arranging our lives that works.

Personally I love to fly by the seat of my pants, and I still allow that kind of free flowing on occasion. But, face it, we can't always be seat-flying AND living purposefully at the same time. There are no steering wheels in those aircrafts, exciting as they may be.

So knowing I can’t be the Miss Loose Goose, flying out of the pack that I wanna be and still get stuff done, structure IS necessary and is not a four letter word. But, to keep me happy, structure MUST have some margin built into it. Without kids at home or a 9-5 to go to, I no longer see the need to burn the candle at both ends and in between, and be "productive" all the time.

Productivity is not always the same thing as living intentionally, I have learned. Sometimes it is just wheels spinning wildly out of control. Or wings flapping.

So, in keeping with that spirit, here’s the summertime M-F schedule I came up with. (I admit, I am stealing some of this structure from Anne Morrow Lindbergh, simply because it works for me. But, I don’t think she’ll mind):

Mornings:  With all the clarity and peace they bring, mornings are for intellectual pursuits: reading, writing, blogging, and for all things intellectual yet undiscovered. Ohh, I can hardly wait for that!

Afternoons:  Providing a needed mental break, afternoons are perfect for physical and out-of-house activities: cleaning, shopping, errands, and coffee with friends. Also, once a week an art date with myself is scheduled to replenish the well…to put it poetically, to drink deeply of that sometime elusive creative juice that writers need and crave. ;)

Evenings:  With their natural winding-down-culminating characteristic, evenings are perfect for relationships: sharing, caring, listening, loving~while we walk, sit, exercise, eat, etc., you name it.

And, further personalizing it all, here’s what I think that type of structuring will look like for me:

6am:  Up and at ‘em for rejuvenation through quiet reflection, and planning the day over coffee of course

7am:  Breakfast prep, lunch prep for the hubs, sharing a meal

8am:  Swimming (or other exercise)

9am – 2pm:  Reading, writing (hmmm, maybe that novel in the works?), blogging; with a short break
for lunch

2pm – 5pm:  Cleaning, shopping, errands, coffee and art dates

5pm – 9pm:  Dinner prep, sharing a meal, friends, family.

9pm:  Shower and beauty regimen

10pm:  Bedtime

I think this will work. I don't sense that my wings have been clipped at all nor is my foot trying to dig in to resist. Wish me luck!

So, what are YOUR goals for the summer? Have you written them down? And how are you arranging your life to give yourself the best possible chance at reaching them?

Learning to fly in the pack,
Cheryl

Photo courtesy Creative Commons

Why Lose Weight?

There are a lot of answers to the question "Why lose weight?". Over the last 2 or 3 decades of my life, I have answered that question in a myriad of ways. Wouldn't you like to find the one answer, the one reason to lose weight that will, once and for all, result in never finding it again?

Does that sound like the impossible dream? Let's talk about it.

We all get it that knowing why we want to do something is extremely important if we are to navigate everyday ups and downs and still hold on to our plans. But, perhaps the "knowing why" we should be more concerned about isn't the more surface reasons (i.e. to fit in that sexy black dress by July 1 or my husband and/or family deserves it), as important as these things might be. I think there is a deeper why that we must address before our weight loss efforts will become something we own instead of something we are regularly shopping for.

Don't believe me? See if this scenario resonates with you at all:

Sally starts out all fired up and motivated, has a little bit of early success and begins thinking the rest of the journey is going to be a breeze. She has figured it out, she has this thing nailed.

And then the dreaded day comes when, well, Sally just doesn't "feel" like doing it anymore. It all seems like so much work. Maybe she is PMSing or her progress has slowed down. Or maybe her husband loses his job. Or she is in the middle of a two week funk with her partner. Or her cousin dies. And, she starts thinking to herself "only if this weren't happening right now, I could stick to my plan."

It would, in some ways, be ideal if the conditions of Sally's life were always perfectly orchestrated to help her reach her goals. She think if only SHE could be on the Biggest Loser ranch separated from the distractions of her day life.

But, the truth is that the ups and downs in Sally's life and how she handles them says an awful lot about her, and if she listens, truly listens she might just get in touch with the deeper whys . . . why she eats when she isn't hungry, why she feeds her body things that don't REALLY feed it, why she places so much emphasis on getting pleasure from food to the point where she is denied pleasure of a much deeper variety.

Maybe Sally isn't the introspective type. She likes to just run with a plan and not get into all this deep, psychological, mumbo-jumbo stuff. The last thing she wants to do is waste time sitting still.

It's true, it all takes time and I have thought to myself, like Sally that if I stop to do this work, I will never reach my goal of 10 pounds a month. I've felt the pressure to even do things that are unhealthy in order to reach my "reasonable" goals.

But, when I stop for a second and actually think about that, how crazy is THAT??? The whole point is to get healthy, and getting slender in the process of getting healthy! The "healthy" comes first. It is not secondary or a nice addition. It's the main thing.

That means that as I get healthy, my body will naturally start to reveal its curves, something we know our men love!

It means that my heart will be strong and able to endure the stress and pressure of every day life!

It means my mind will be able to process information better and my decisions will be wiser!

It means my emotions are settled and my relationships are healthier!

And, it means I get into that sexy black dress eventually and give my partner and family what they deserve!

But, first, what comes FIRST is the health part. All of these wonderful consequences are a result of getting healthy being the primary thing.

Does that mean wanting to look good is unimportant or worse, superficial? Only if its primary. Focusing on the outside more than the inside is like planting a garden full of gorgeous flowers without any concern for the soil, sun exposure or nutrient needs. America's obsession with looking good is producing a garden that looks beautiful for awhile, but will eventually start to look sickly, withered with all the signs of life disappearing. The flowers ARE important, but what makes and keeps them gorgeous is how they got that way.

Losing weight is a practice of self preservation. It is a part of maintaining our most valuable resource, our body, and being a good and wise steward of it. If losing weight becomes a practice of anything else, could it be that it is doomed to fail from the get-go?

What do you think?

How To Get Things Done

Shiny object syndrome.

Also known as SOS. Easily excited about a new idea. A strong pull towards the "next" thing.

Its a common trait (some would call it an issue!) among creatives and visionaries and is usually what makes people love us. And hate us.  We can often see a long ways down the road, what the future could be, but the steps in between there and where we stand, well, we aren't always too good at following through on those or even knowing what the steps are. We are simply caught up in the excitement of the new and shiny.

This syndrome, as you may have guessed, can have devastating consequences for a person like me who is desperately working at changing her body and regaining her health. Its not that I lose interest, but there are so many other things to do and places to go that I have to constantly remind myself of my priorities. Stop, Cheryl, what is your mission? What do you have to do to get there? Will this new and shiny idea get you closer or is it merely a bunny trail. (A bunny trail seems so appropriate today.)

Shiny. Objects. Distract. Me.

I write today as a "sufferer" of a very bad case of SOS. It's fairly familiar territory for me, so a couple of years ago I posted a small slip of paper in my work area with helpful reminders and practical steps to keep me on track. I share it with you today, simple, to the point:

How To Work Better

Do one thing at a time.

Know the problem.

Learn to listen.

Learn to ask questions.

Distinguish sense from nonsense.

Accept change as inevitable.

Admit mistakes.

Say it simple.

Be calm.

Smile.

How do you stay on track?

I WILL Make It!

A good friend of mine asked me the other day if I felt like it was a good decision to go public with my weight loss journey of 2010. Without hesitation, I responded with a definite YES! Telling the world that I am on this journey is a humbling thing for sure, but it is keeping me accountable and on track. Even when things don’t go as planned, it’s so great being surrounded with folks who ‘get it’, who have been there, and who care.

So, first I think a big thank you is in order to everyone who comes to read, to comment, to share and/or to support in this incredible journey I’m on!

Going public, in my opinion, with any kind of personal goal means one of two things:
1.  You are really serious about reaching that goal OR
2.  You are starved for attention!

For the record, let it be known that I am REALLY serious about my 2010 goal of losing 120 pounds! Perhaps once I accomplish that I’ll be ready for the attention thing, but for now I’m content to stay comfortably in the background, thank you very much. :)

But, WOW.  120# in 12 months.

That means on average 10 pounds a month should be lost, never to be found again, to stay on track. Ugh. I am behind. The plan was (and continues to be) to manage my body in a responsible manner… to lose pounds and inches the HEALTHY way…no crash diets, no insane exercise regimen, and no BL ranch (though I really wouldn’t mind that last one!).

Will I make it?

I will eat normal food, but work on making healthier choices. I will exercise my body but resist the temptation to become a workout fiend. I will learn to deal with my emotions and personal issues square on instead of piling food on top of them. And, finally, I will tell you guys about it as I go along. I reiterate these things to remind myself of what I’m REALLY trying to accomplish.

I really WANT to make it.

But, I soooo hate being behind the 8 ball. Because I am SERIOUS about reaching this goal, and since I am NOT giving up, I took some time to take stock. What’s working? What isn’t? How does my plan need to be refined? Here’s what I came up with:

NEW GOAL #1

I will lose 120 pounds or 5 pant sizes in 2010, whichever comes first.

I was putting way too much emphasis on the scale, and was even considering skipping strength training so as not to gain muscle. Ridiculous, I know. My real goal is to change my body composition, fit into smaller clothes and be HEALTHY! If I get into jeans that are 5 sizes smaller than what I wear now, I will be HAPPY regardless of how much less weight that is!

NEW GOAL #2

I will work out first thing in the morning before my calendar for the day fills up.

My intentions to get to the gym are good and honorable, but there always seems to be one more thing to get done before I go. No more. Working out is a priority for me (more about that next week) and as such, is first on the list.

NEW GOAL #3

I will keep my plan simple.

I just don’t do complicated AT ALL. So, no fancy schmancy detailed annoying plans. Eating and living an active lifestyle isn’t supposed to be complicated, and neither should learning to eat and move for good health. I will remember that the quality of my calories is as important as the quantity, and in order to change my body and my life I need to do something different than what I did to get to this uncomfortable, unhealthy, unattractive weight.

So, there it is. This is simple. This is doable. This is challenging. This I can do!

I WILL MAKE IT!!

Now, I have one other thing to share that is VERY exciting! I met a local photographer through Twitter a couple of months ago, and just today he offered me a FREE photo shoot once I reach my goal! He said it’s his way of inspiring and motivating me to keep going! It’s so great when others believe in us, isn’t it? I’m already imagining what I’m going to wear and where I want to do the photo shoot!

So, thanks to Jerry Johanning for believing in me and showing it with this very kind offer! Can’t wait to show off the new me! (A side note about Jerry: he did most of the photography for Christopher from Project Runway season 6! Talented? I think so!)

This blog is, and always will be, about gaining all the signs of life back….energy, vitality, activity .... and sharing that journey with you.  Looking good is going to feel VERY good, and I CANNOT wait for the photo shoot, but more than that I am doing cartwheels about the prospect of being healthy again. And, thanks to all of you, I WILL make it.

As always, I love to hear what you think and any helpful suggestions you’ve picked up along the way to a healthy lifestyle! Please share in the comments or email me here.

Yours in the journey,

Cheryl

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons

There Will Be No Bike Riding At This Rate

It's Monday, and my weekly visit to the scale was not too encouraging. In fact, I experienced a gain of 3.2 pounds. I can't even begin to describe how discouraging this is.

How exactly does a person gain weight when they have a calorie deficit of 750+ calories a day? If losing weight is a simple equation of calories in calories out, then my weight really oughta be on the downhill slide.

????????

I have been consistent:

• 1600-2100 calories/day (recommended amount is 2100-2200)
• Excellent adherence to ratios of protein/fat/carbs (recommended by a professional dietition at a respectable club)
• 3-5 workouts each week (cardio & strength training)
• High quality vitamin supplementation
• a gallon or more of water every day
• Solid 7-8 hours of sleep with very few exceptions

Knowing this, I think it may be time for some adjustments. Our bodies tell us all kinds of information if we'll just listen, and as much as I do not want to put all my hope in the scale, the lack of consistent downward movement of its needle in the last month has me pondering. I've also experienced more tiredness this past month. So, I'm asking myself: What else can I do to move things along?

And, this brings up an important step to keep all of us moving forward toward our goals. While goals DO need to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound, they also require us to handle them with a sense of fluidity. Periodically we should be asking:

What's working? What isn't? What might work better?

This is the best way I know to ensure that dreams and visions for the future stay connected to reality, and that we don't end up giving up all together.

So, I ask you, do your goals need tweaking too? If you are having trouble like I am, I encourage you to spend a little time and see what you can adjust. I know I will be doing this, and I promise to UNVEIL the new and improved list next time!

Come back on Wednesday to read all about it and to share your own renewed plans to find your dreams!

You-turns being contemplated,
Cheryl

P.S. If you have an experience to share of when you adjusted well laid out plans and strategies and how those adjustments propelled your forward, please contact me here!

Excuses

Did you start laughing a little around the mid-point of that video, too?  Maybe the excuses are just a little too familiar, I know they were for me. One of my goals in 2010 is to get more mentally tough...quit cutting myself so much slack and just get to it, tell excuse-making "you may now be excused"  . . . 'cause I'm pretty sure we can't make progress if we're busy making excuses.

So, here's an idea. Put pen to paper and list all the excuses you've ever made or thought of to not do something. I bet it won't take that long, seems that excuses reside in the frontal lobe of our brain for extremely easy recall. :) I do everything on my laptop and I type like 200 wpm so I'll have this done in a snap.

When you're done, at the top in big letters print "Don't Be Lame", then print your sheet and keep it in a prominent place. A quick glance when the rationalizing and justifying begin should remind you that what's happening is just weak...its lazy....and it won't get you closer to your goal.

Once you're done with your own excuse list, check out these links for things you haven't thought of yet...and add them to your list if you are so inclined.

MadtBone

Bored

Diddit

We excuse makers apparently come in very large numbers: I googled 'list of excuses' and got 5,970,000 results returned in 1/3 of a second. I say, lets resign from this club!

Stopping the insanity,
Cheryl

P.S. If you come up with a better title than "Don't Be Lame", please share it in the comments!

I Need Energy

Happy Tuesday everyone! The sun has actually emerged and all the beautiful icicles hanging from the edge of our place are melting and crashing and I just think it's all very beautiful! And, as I woke up this morning, I actually heard......BIRDS!!!  Yipppeee, that means, I hope, that spring is just around the corner.

Yesterday I promised I would give you part one of the story of my health journey, where I have come from and what brought me to the point of realization that I needed a daily multi-vitamin. So, let's get started. 

Energy, oh energy, where are you?! You used to run through my veins like an energetic, playful puppy, but now I just feel like a tired, old dog! :-/

I thought it would be pretty easy to walk 30 minutes every day...I mean, it's WALKING. Everyone can do that. The plan was to get this daily walk in right before dinner...or after dinner. I never dreamed it would take all the energy I could muster to just get through dinner.

I was all gung ho the first week, getting out that door every week night all puppy-like. The second week ~ not so much. It was like I had aged 5 dog years overnight...I managed 3 days that week. And, when the third week rolled around..five MORE dog years down the drain. I had lost my momentum, my drive, and somehow I imagined that what I would be giving up by NOT exercising wasn't so bad.

The truth? I was tired. Just plain tired. And REALLY not seeing straight. All the positive self-talk in the world couldn't have gotten me up off the floor, physically or emotionally. I wasn't wimpering excitedly in my sleep, dreaming about eating juicy steaks...I was having nightmares about my life being cut short.

Over the next several months, I would attempt many such starts. And stops. Frustrated, I began to wonder if something was wrong with my engine that daily use alone could not cure. It was like someone was pushing a button, cutting in, cutting out, making my motor misfire. I had all the will in the world to reach my very first fitness goal of walking 30 minutes each day, but it was like torture out there as I sputtered down the street....with every step I couldn't wait for it to be over. My body was exhausted. I made an appointment with my doctor.

Doctor Paq was gentle. He listened intently to me with sympathy in his eyes. He asked me lots of smart questions. He said "hmmmm, really?" and wrote lots of stuff down. He took ALOT of blood. And, 5 days later he called with what maybe most would consider bad news. But somehow, someway, it offered me a bit of relief . . . and hope.

Come back tomorrow for part 2 of the story.  But, before I go, can anybody relate so far? Have you ever felt so darn tired that every single thing you do is an effort?

hanging on,
Cheryl

Dream Big!

I am currently enrolled in a course to teach me how to go pro with blogging. I love to write, love the computer, enjoy a challenge, and I thought, heck why not make some money at doing what I love? A popular entrepreneur that I have listened to lately once said "Do what you love and never work another day of your life." Sounds awesome, doesn't it?

Anyway, one of the exercises in this course is to write down my ideal average day . . . not the kind of day you dream about having on vacation, but an ordinary day that is picture perfect to you, a day that you can repeat every single day and be extremely happy doing so.

At first, I wasn't sure I really needed to write this down  . . . I mean I kind of knew in my head what I wanted, so what's the point? However, I made a vow to myself at the outset of this course to do every last exercise and assignment to the very best of my ability, so I got my pen and paper out (aka laptop).

I was very surprised at what unfolded as I wrote . . .. the dreams that were lying within my heart! Turns out that what I thought I knew was really more about what I didn't want my life to be about than what I did want it be about. Can anyone relate?

During the coming week when we're all anticipating Valentine's Day, thinking about love, how to express it, etc., I wonder if just loving on ourselves a bit should be included. I don't know about you, but I think its easy to forget how to dream when we are so wrapped up in and overwhelmed by daily life. So, let's let loose a little! Forget about the barriers between your current daily reality and just imagine your IDEAL DAY. And, write it down.  Make it more about what you'd experience than what you'd have, though it can certainly include both.

Even if you are already extremely happy with your daily life, it is always good to be reaching for new goals, finding new amibitions, making progress.  Writing down my ideal average day was a way for me to get back in touch with what I'm really reaching for....it brought some clarity for me, maybe it will do the same for you.

dreaming big!
Cheryl

P.S. How does weight loss figure in to this? For me, I envision all my future days as me being a slimmer, sexier me than I am now . . . so doing this little exercise poured more fuel on the fire to just be consistent with what I'm doing. And, a little shout out for me....I lost 3.6 pounds last week!  Hurray.....time to start thinking about a reward for the 20# mark!

I Can't Run

I swear to you I can't run. I used to run every morning . . . back in college, on into my 20's, lacing up my shoes before dawn was something I loved doing, looked forward to. The alarm would ring at 5:30am and I'd bound out of bed....seriously! Starting the day off with a runners high? Yeah, it just didn't get much better than that.

HOWEVER, that was both dozens of years and pounds ago, and I just don't feel like I can run again, not at least until half of this weight comes off. I mean, think about it, wouldn't it be hard on my knees, my feet (which have been giving me tons of problems lately)...wouldn't it raise my heart rate too high or just be a bad idea at this weight?  Good grief, right now I'm just shooting to be able to exercise without pain!

Well, yesterday as I was walking on the treadmill, something got into me and I decided, what the heck, I'm going to jog for a bit. I increased the speed to 3.5 miles per hour, and taaadaaaaaaa, I was running, actually running! I only did it for a couple of minutes, but I DID IT!

A small victory to most, I realize, but a breakthrough for me. And, I'll take breakthroughs wherever I can get them!

I was inspired by Sunshine on The Biggest Loser Tuesday night when Jillian told everyone to run for 5 minutes...Sunshine looked over at the girl next to her who saw the fear all over Sunshine's face and promptly said "We can do a lot more than we think, you'll learn that here at the ranch."  And, Sunshine ran for 5 minutes.

Turns out that we really do put limits on our abilities, but even I can learn to break through the false ceiling I have constructed . . . ranch or not.

Would love to hear what you all have done recently that you didn't think you could....diet/exercise related or otherwise. Let's inspire one another!

pushing through,
Cheryl

P.S.  Yesterday at my friend Heidi's, I tried on those new shoes that are advertised to get your butt in shape, and I MUST get me a pair. Sooooo comfortable and just walking across Heidi's family room I could tell they absolutely work! Think I can run in those shoes? {crossing fingers!}

Emotional Eating vs. Feeling Stuff

I was thinking about Migdalia on The Biggest Loser today. For those who don't watch the program, Migdalia was at the Biggest Loser ranch and was used to being tough, not crying, and stuffing her feelings. And, the thinking by the trainers is that as she stuffed the feelings she coped by eating too much. We all watched as Jillian followed Migdalia out the door, speaking the hard truth to her, but Migdalia wanted to quit...and she wanted to quit because she was starting to feel things.

If you've spent a lifetime being "tough", its pretty scary to let any of that emotion rise up without cramming it back down.

I don't know if you would call Migdalia an emotional eater...food being a numbing agent against feeling unpleasant things...yes? I think I identify with that...its a tough world out there and depending on what a person has had to face and how they've learned to cope, well it is easy for me to see how emotional eating happens. Some people might choose alcohol, others drugs, others sex, you name it, there are all kinds of things we can use to try to cope with the stuff we find too scary or painful to deal with instead of just dealing with it.

One of the things I knew when I started all this was that I was absolutely through with avoiding what I didn't want to acknowledge...that food was no longer going to be my coping mechanism....that whatever I faced, I was going to, well, face it and not turn away. I'm here to tell you one month into it that I HAVE been feeling things, some sadness has surfaced at times about things that have nothing to do with my body or health. And, I have let those things out...processing thoughts and feelings instead of cramming pizza on top of it.

These are the markers that I believe are setting this weight loss attempt apart, the mile markers that as I am consistent will enable me to not only lose weight but also keep it off. This is a lifetime plan, a new way of living, and I am just tickled to be learning the ropes!

still workin' it,
Cheryl

The Magic of a Clean Slate

I am soooo glad it's February 1, aren't you? The first day of a new month, it's like a brand new beginning, a clean slate.

And, a brand new beginning is exactly what I needed, because the scale is stuck.  Ugh. I hate that, and especially at the end of the month when I was so hoping to meet my one month goal of 10 pounds down. I really do think there is something wrong with my scale, but I decided to shelve that excuse because, really, Cheryl? Your scale is broken?  I weighed myself, like 10 times this morning, and granted, got about 9 different numbers.  Still, none of them were lower than my number last week.

So, on this very first day of February,  I got a brand new start . . . that is, just as soon as I was done hosting a pity party that I personally scheduled, proudly attended, and now acknowledge is over. There is just no point in indulging beyond 30 minutes or so of blank staring on the couch in my robe.  There are bigger and better fish to fry than that, don't ya think?

I have learned from so many of you of the wisdom of looking for successes in other places, but before I can go there, I must take an hour or so to figure out what happened. I mean, what REALLY happened? This part is so hard but so important too....ok, I DIDN'T work my butt off (obviously), I slipped a couple of days on my food (not horribly really, but just dense calorie foods laden with cheese and fat, my major weakness).  I also had french fries once instead of fruit. Plus, I was kind of negative, a bit stressed out and just overall felt unmotivated.

I know I'm not alone. And, this happens, it's all a part of the process...blah blah blah. But, I'm not gonna cut myself any slack. Slack is how I got to where I am right now. Slack is average.  Slack is kinda lazy.  Slack, my friends, is a slippery slope. So, there will be no slack, cuz honestly, I am NOT a slacker!

Here's the bright spot, the silver lining, the glow bracelet worth showing off ~ today as I was picking myself up off the couch, I realized that instead of heading for the kitchen, I was lacing up my sneakers!  Now, isn't that just way cool?!  It was like an einstein moment for me, proof that despite my broken scale, I really am making progress.  Changing life long habits do NOT turn around on a dime, but I think I may just have this puppy turned around! 

So, I just want to say how happy I am, yes, that it's February 1, but also to have all of you following me on this journey, cheering me on, encouraging me when I just wanna pout, even caring when I have my einstein moments, and just being here.  I really could not be doing this without you!

{hugs}
Cheryl


P.S. Now, off to buy a new, accurate scale. :)

Good Enough For Me

I've been in love with Starbucks for a very long time ~ everyone who knows me knows this. If it were possible to marry Starbucks I might even consider it, but then I'd have to move to Utah, so maybe not.

But seriously, I believe their coffee is roasted to perfection, their cups for sale are distinctive, very cool and always changing, and they put neat little sayings on the sides of their to-go cups instead of dumb marketing jargon that doesn't mean anything.  They call these sayings The Way I See It, and here's an example:

{Just in case you can't read that:}

The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you're not good enough. On occasion some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don't take it personally when they say "no" - they may not be smart enough to say "yes"."

- Keith Olbermann

Now, as if the drink inside the cup isn't enough to perk you up, don't those words just make your day, inspire you to live your very best life, motivate you to say "I can!"?  They do me.

Forget the naysayers, they are just average people who maybe have just forgotten how to dream.  I love it, "pursue any dream"!  Besides, who wants to be average?

I think I'll grab me another cuppa SB just to reward their smart marketing. And, because I'm madly in love.

Good enough,
Cheryl

Write Goals In Pencil

Recently I had a conversation with a friend whose 2010 resolutions/goals have already gone by the wayside.  And, I just felt her frustration and her almost maddening bewilderment with every fiber of my being.  She made sure that these goals were not just a bunch of must-do's and should do's, but rather things that she really really wants. Still, somehow they didn't stick. Anyone relate? Yeah, probably everyone.

A lady I met on twitter last year was talking to me one day about goals, and she said that goals always require adjustment, tweaking....and for a simple reason.  When we set out to accomplish something, there is just no way for us to anticipate all the variables and how life will go. . . and how the people/circumstances that we don't have any control over will affect us and our goals.

So, I was thinking about all this. And, I hate it when goals that I worked really hard to come up with, write down and start implementing have to be adjusted because sometimes I just want to be like a linebacker and put my head down and plow through. And, sometimes if I do tweak the goals I get tired of it all, it just feels so cumbersome and I begin to feel like it isn't even worth this much trouble.  So, when my friend shared her frustration, I could really really feel it because I'd been there sooooo many times.

Also, I used to think that "tweaking" goals was a cop out, like an excuse for not doing what I said I was going to do, an escape clause. And, so I'd feel like a quitter if I tweeked.  But, then when the goal didn't work out, what would I do?  Quit.  And, then think there was something really wrong with me, when the main thing that was off was the goal AND the fact that I gave up too quickly and didn't tweak it.

I decided in 2010 to not feel threatened anymore by the need to tweak and just tell myself the truth about whatever it is I'm working toward, which in 2010 is to lose 120 pounds.

The truth is:
I cannot tell the future, so my plans will need adjusting.

The truth is:
There are lots of ways to reach the same goal, & finding the one that'll work for me is my first action step.

The truth is:
I need other people to know about what I'm fighting for; they'll see things I don't and cheer me on.

The truth is:
No matter how hard this is, I am worth it. Every. Last. Ounce. Of. Effort. Worth. It.

The truth is:
"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

So, if you are feeling at all like my friend (and like me for so many years in a row), I just want to encourage you about the goals you've made at the beginning of this year...don't abandon them now. Pull them out, dust them off and rework them. 

Even if you are still reworking the goals at the end of 2010, you will not have wasted ANY time.  But, if you let them go too easily now, well, December 2010 will still come.

The Lost Art of Planning

As I sit here and write this blog post, in the background is the Food Network talking about pizza . . . why do I torture myself so?  Actually, pizza does not have the hold on me that it once did.  There was a time that I could head over to Broadway Pizza and polish off a thin crust medium 5 topping pizza.  No kidding.  I never intended to eat the whole thing, in fact I'd go in planning to eat half and even asked the server for a box when the pizza came so I could put half of it away immediately.  Somehow someway I never left with a box. Oink oink.

It's different now, tho.  Hubs and I will get a pizza maybe twice a month now, always a small, and we split it, often with several pieces left.  I'm not really sure what happened to be honest.  I never tried to change this, but maybe my body starting telling me something that my otherwise good sense wouldn't hear of . . . slow it down Cheryl.  Slow it down.

And that reminds me, today I picked up my mail and in my box was my Good magazine.  Ever heard of this publication?  When I subscribed, I got to pick what I wanted to pay for it.  Seriously.  And, some (I don't remember what the percentage was) of that subscription fee went to the non-profit of my choice.  I chose Kiva, a cool organization that puts together people who have money with individuals in third world countries with an entrepreneurial spirit and a desire to escape poverty.  The money is "given" as a loan and their payback percentage is something like 99%.  Pretty cool way, I thought, to give a hand up to someone that the banks would never consider credit worthy.

Anyway, back to Good and their slow issue.  The anchor article tells the story of Oxford University back in the 19th century when the roof of the dining hall needed repair.  When the dons approached the school forester about securing wood for new beams, he informed them that when the college dining hall had been built centuries earlier, a stand of oak had been plantd in anticipation of just this moment.  Five hundred years later, the roof was failing, and the trees were ready!

There's of course a lot that can be said and written about this.  But, what I want to focus on is the seemingly lost art of planning.  Losing weight that lasts forever requires it as does anything that we want to last.  This whole thing I'm doing this year is NOT something that I want to finish just so that I can rinse and repeat.  No, I want the weight I'm going to lose to be permanent...because that's really the only kind of progress that is, well, progress.

So, I'm giving careful thought to the method of my madness . . . we're getting back to basics, moving toward what Michael Pollan has called an eater's manifesto:

Eat Food. Not Too Much. Mostly Plants.

Doesn't get much simpler than that. And by doing this I'm planning to be around for another 30-40 years.  I want to stop making my life about the immediate and instead practice a little slowing down, experience more often the excitement and pleasure of delaying gratification, and doing things in a quality sort of way so that when they have served their purpose and need replacing, the trees will be ready.

Slowing down to plan,
Cheryl

Goals: Writing Them Down

Have to say that all you guys are amazingly cool to give your support the way you have.  Just amazing and awesome as I gear up today for the big launch tomorrow ~ January 1, 2010.

Gearing up for me isn't really about getting the groceries I need or buying new shoes (altho I'd love some new pink shoes).  No, first things first.  Before anything else, I need to take all the dreams, visions and inspirations that are residing right now in my head, my heart and pumping through my veins and get them down on paper.  I gotta write this stuff down.

I once heard that the only difference between a goal and a dream is that goals are put into writing.  There may be a couple of other differences I think, but hey, I think the point is still quite valid.  I mean, just think about the last time you went to the grocery store and didn't take a list!  I forget stuff all the time that way, so I don't think these wild and crazy and wonderful aspirations in my heart today are any different.  I may think I will NEVER forget what I want, but I will.  Been there, done that.

So, here goes.  Here's my weight loss and fitness goals for 2010 that will enable me to lose 120 pounds in 52 weeks:

1. Go to the gym 5x a week, exercising a minimum of 30 minutes each time.
   
2. Mix up the routine, 3 days cardio, 2 days strength training.
3. Eat more vegetables than meat or carbs, and make 3 days a week total vegetarian.

Okay, now here's the breakdown.  I learned about making SMART goals from my friend (and former boss!) Pam Court.  SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time Bound.  Cute and helpful little acronym.  Pam, if you're reading, let me know if I did it right, ok? ;)

1. Exercise without pain - end of Feb 2010
2. Walk/jog daily - April 2010
3. Lose 60 pounds - end June 2010
1. 10 pounds/month
2. Increase activity level 
1. Aerobic exercise 3x week (walking or other)
   
2. Strength training 2x week
3.  Moderate food intake--balanced meals using whole foods with a focus on lean protein, fresh fruit and veggies.
4. Avoid deprivation by enjoying good, quality food in tasting proportions vs. super sizing everything.
5. Adopt new habits that are sustainable for the rest of my life (i.e. routines, meal prep)
6. Immerse myself in challenging work, stimulating social interactions and reading material - AVOID BOREDOM!!!
4. Go off blood pressure meds - end of Sept 2010
5. Able to play one-on-one basketball w/sons & husband with ease - Nov 2010
6. Lose 120 pounds - end of December 2010
7. Participate in a bike trip in New England - Summer 2011
8. Vacation in the Caribbean, comfortable in a bathing suit, able to participate in any activity I choose (snorkeling, swimming, jogging on the beach, etc.) - December 2011.

There it is. It's not really my Bucket List (more on that to come), but if I don't do these things I may as well not even make a bucket list.

What do you guys think?  Are these goals SMART?